tempus_kitten

Mmmmm... my butt's so warm.

Its interesting how having a different headspace can affect how everything feels and how I react to them.

I'm still not feeling very submissive.  But that doesn't stop me from submitting.  In fact tonight was a lot of fun.

But I was reacting a lot differently.  Those first two weeks when we resumed playing I did a lot of crying.  Started out just tearing up but then there were a few times when I was bawling.  That was strange because I had never cried like that before.  At least never in a scene.  I was feeling vulnerable along with the pain.

Tonight though because I wasn't feeling all that submissive I didn't feel vulnerable.  Even when my hands were bound...  In fact at times I was feeling angry.  Not a bad angry though.  Just a 'God Damn That HURT' angry.

So tonight was definitely different.  Not bad.  Just different.

Kitten got a chance to use her claws on Memorial Day.

I finally got to meet/play with a pair of online friends of mine.  It was fun except for some drama that was revolving around them when I first arrived.  But play time was fun when I finally happened.  I'll post detail later.  But now I'm sleepy and need to get at least some.  Its hot!

This was something I wrote at the urging of a Dominate friend of mine.  I was feeling very frustrated because Daddy and I had stopped playing.  Just when things were going so well.  Of course this was before Daddy was Daddy.  At least to me.  

((And because I'm annoyed... I had written a much better introduction but when I copy and pasted the text of my letter LJ decided it hated it and there was a burp and I lost what I wrote.  I hate it when that happens because now I can't recapture the essence of what I wanted to write originally.))

This is what my friend told me.  Below that is the letter I started to write but never finished because of my level of frustration.

Now, I want you to try again with the letter. Don't write the letter to your husband. Write it to a phantom, your ideal Dominant. Reveal to him the story of your struggle and eventual acceptence of what you are. Tell him how you are ready to devote your being to him. Then detail the things you'd like him to do to you.

Begin with your story. Your struggle.

Keep in mind, this is not some college report or work to be published. It doesn't need to be perfect grammatically. All that matters is that it comes from within. Baring ones soul is difficult... but that is what a submissive does.